Do This If You Feel Like An Imposter And Want To Refund All Your Coaching Clients

A few nights ago, I woke up in a panic and couldn't fall back asleep.

I had enrolled a client earlier that day.

I thought, "What if you can't help this client reach their goal? What if they find out that you're a fraud and they tell the world?"

After what felt like an hour of this, I finally got up. Then I went downstairs to my home office, grabbed my laptop, and sat down in my recliner.

And I asked myself a simple question: "Is it really true that I'm a fraud?"

To answer this question, I went to my website and looked at all of the case studies from people I've worked with.

I watched a video of my client Gemma, who left her 9-5 in the first few months of working with me and replaced her income.

I watched a video of my client Tamara, who wasn't sure if her business was going to survive. She had her first $10k month within 30 days of working me.

I watched video after video of clients whose lives were changed by my programs. Then I opened my email and read notes from people over the years who have benefited from my free resources and articles.

Okay, so obviously I don’t suck at coaching. I've been doing this work for over 6 years - I've gotten countless referrals, repeat clients, and I've collaborated with people in this industry that I used to view as untouchable. I've succeeded in many different niches, not just helping other coaches.

But then it occurred to me: What if all the success I've had in my business recently has made me feel out of control?

The Invisible Revenue Ceiling Of Doom

For the last couple of years, I would hit $20k+ per month in revenue for a few months and then all of a sudden I would back off. It's like there was an invisible celling that I kept knocking up against.

It was such a predictable pattern that I could look back at my annual accounting statements and see that I would start strong for the first few months of the year, grow quickly, then back off until December, at which point I would feel depressed and start the cycle all over again.

I realized that each time I would scale up, it amplified the fear of being responsible for all those clients. So my defense mechanism would kick and and I'd take my foot off the gas - but I'd always have a different excuse for it. I'd start a new project, or business, or decide that I was burnt out. Or I would somehow convince myself that I didn't actually want to grow my business and that I should remain a best kept secret.

Really, it was all just a defense mechanism and a way to stay in control.

Some people call this imposter syndrome. Others call it an "upper limit problem." The idea is that when you start to go beyond what you view as normal in terms of success, you get anxious, self-sabotage, even have physical symptoms. I used to think this was all bullshit, but the truth is that it’s held me back for a long time.

Fast forward to earlier this week. I've consistently averaged over $20k per month in revenue for the last 5 months. This is the longest I've gone without backing off and going into my comfort zone. So no wonder I'm pushing up against these fears.

Deep down, I'm terrified of a client putting their trust in me and then feeling ripped off. And so the more clients I have, the greater my liability. When I feel exposed, my insecurities are brought to the forefront.

This is the beautiful thing about running a coaching business, though. It's really just a personal development project in disguise. There’s nowhere to hide.

What To Do When You Feel Like An Imposter

Even coaches, who are generally very solid on the mindset side of things, can start to doubt themselves.

Here are some specific things you can do to keep moving forward:

1. Embrace the discomfort

Imagine if every time you lifted weights and it started to get uncomfortable, you stopped. You'd never get any stronger. In the same way, discomfort is a natural part of the growth process in business.

If you think something is wrong every time you feel uncomfortable, you'll never stay there long enough to get the payoff. Instead of backing off when you feel out of control or anxious, sit with those feelings and realize that you're probably headed in a positive direction.

No matter what your level of success, you're going to push up against these feelings. But the fact that you feel responsibility to your clients is proof that you do have integrity. If you were just a narcissist who didn't care about people then you'd never ask these questions.

2. Marshal your evidence

You may have heard the idea that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. The best way to counter self-doubt is to present yourself with different evidence.

Keep positive emails in a special folder that you can refer back to. Create case studies from your most successful clients. Think back to the referrals you've gotten and the repeat business you've gotten - none of that would be happening if you didn't provide value. We all make mistakes now and then, but the fact is that you probably don't have a line of people demanding that you give their money back and blaming you for their failure.

If you're just getting started, use your own story as proof that you have a gift to give. Look back at all you've overcome in your life, all the lessons you've learned, all that you've achieved.

3. Demonstrate that you can be trusted with success

This morning, while I was writing this article, I sent a message to my clients letting them know how grateful I am for them and the work that they're putting in. When you do something like this, you're showing that you can be a good steward of money and responsibility. Same thing when you contribute to causes that you're passionate about.

The more you trust yourself with success, the more you'll be open to receiving it. Celebrate your wins and don't fall into the trap of believing that once you hit that next level then you can be happy.

4. Get support

One reason why we sometimes hit up against a revenue ceiling is because we start getting overwhelmed and we don't want to start dropping balls. There may be new challenges that come with greater opportunity. This is when it really helps to have let go of control and empower a team member or VA to build the necessary systems.

For example, right now my VA is working on a new way for clients to submit questions so that nothing gets lost in the shuffle. My job is to share the vision with her of what this new system should accomplish and then get out of her way.

5. Help your clients get what they want

This is often different from what you think they should want. I've been guilty of setting an unrealistic bar for my clients that they didn't even have to begin with…and then having them be disappointed when they fall short.

It's up to your clients to decide what they really want to get out of the coaching, and then leading them to their definition of success. Underpromise, overdeliver, and remind your clients that they are in charge of their life and their results.

How To Have Integrity As A Coach

As coaches, we have a responsibility to care for our clients.

Part of that responsibility is not taking on more than we can handle or claiming we can help with things we know nothing about.

But we also have a responsibility to help as many people as we can. When we choose to stay small, we're making the choice to not help people who desperately need our gifts.

If you do everything I suggested above and you still feel like an imposter, ask:

"What would have me feel more confident in my ability to bring value to my clients?"

Then go make it happen.

If you need some ideas, download my 20 Commandments of Powerful Coaching.